Charlie don't surf
But he thinks he should
In Pismo Beach
He won't stop
Till he does damage
Cause Charlie don't surf
But he thinks he should
In Rincon he shows up
Between hurricanes
And Iguanas
Charlie Don't surf
But he thinks he should
In Miami Beach
Between Cubano sandwiches
And flan
Just because he can
And Dudamel
Is the dude
At the Hollywood Bowl
With Classic Salsa
And Oscar D'Leon
Because George Michael
Beat His Meat
To Mexicans across from
The Beverly Hills Hotel
And Wild Palms
Above Trumpists and Ukrainians
Slava Ukraine!
And Beverly Hills Cops
At Café Roma
Waiting for the girls from Palm Springs
And the dry desert
And Joshua Trees
And Playing Paddies
And catholicism
In Los Angeles
Where English Actors
Eat potato salad
At Cantors
And drink expresso
At Eataly
In this Los Angeles
Of another fucking sunny day
On Mulholland
Above the Hollywood Hills
where we lose connections
in the canyons
And all the dead
In Hollywood Forever
Where Valentino
Is enshrined
And in Amara
In Pasadena
With Edgar Ramirez
Eating arepas
But the band Marches on
At the Malibu Colony
Because all the sunsets in LA
Are designed by Steely Dan
On satellite radio
Going west on sunset
To the beach
Or to LAX
Or to Mister Chow's
Or Fred Seagal's
Or Spago
Because we're team LA
And the turtles are always there
Up in the Hollywood reservoir
Because some three year old in first class
Dumped them in the lake
And they signed cover bands
That play at the Whisky
And the Troubador
Cover bands
Because the real deal is dead
And the cool kids are all out in the
Desert
Like pilgrims
Because the desert knows
That Charlie don't surf
Because it's only sand
All the way to Mexico
It should be illegal
To be this lit on first class
Above this land
Of feverish saints
Half wild and half-tamed
That roam this desert land
From Palm Springs to Sonoma
Via Santa Fe
Because LA beckons
You can clock out anytime
But you can't ever leave
This Hotel California.
Because the Mission Indians
Remember
That the Spanish did unspeakable things
Just because they could
Let's have a club sandwich
At the Chateau Marmont
Washed down with Veuve Clicquot
And a coffee
And pretend it was consensual
Otherwise Netflix will cancel you
Because you're not liberal enough
My boy
Cause Charlie don't surf
Cause he's been napalmed
By the USAF
Back when Santana Was Number one
And Charlie's Angels were carving up
Sharon Tate
In this LA
This Hotel California
Where homeless die on the streets
And mice eat you cars
From the inside out
In Hollywood
But we just live here
Under the sun
And Runyon Canyon
And talks of lucrative contracts
And sweat
Above the city
This LA
Will we ever be
Liberated
By Larry David
At Cantors
At midnight
With potato salad
and lox bagels?
Because the Santa Ana Winds
Are mild but dominate
Your life
In this LA
On the way to
where?
Los Angeles. A Beat Poem By Max Milano.
Performed Live By Max Milano.